Obsess Much?

Just a little insight into me...

Have you seen the show Scrubs?  There was one episode guest starring Michael J Fox {season 3, episode 59} who played a brilliant Surgeon with obsessive compulsive personality disorder.  In the episode he would spend hours washing his hands because they were not clean enough and he had follow his mind's rule for how it was done.  If he didn't do it right it would cause him significant stress.

Well that's me...sort of.

I know I have it {not clinically diagnosed...its obvious}, but I live with it and for the most part it doesn't interfere with my day to day life.  The only thing that it really causes is Husband's annoyance.  

I have a tendency to constantly click and rub things between my fingers.  I am not aloud to hold the remote.  I play with the buttons and it drives Husband mad with the constant tiny noise and movement.

While I'm typing at work, if my right fingers have hits more keys than my left I will type a few words with ONLY my left hand.

Its the little things really.

Why do I tell you this?  Because last night I had a huge Manic OCD episode.  I have never had such a problem before.  Thank God for Husband because if it wasn't for him I would have been up cleaning {just the kitchen island} the entire night.

I had just scrubbed the island clean {because I had anxiety about it} before we went to been and I thought that it was over.  It wasn't.  What was just about the island that wasn't clean enough turned into sheets that weren't straight and perfectly flat on the bed.

I knew it didn't matter.  I couldn't stop thinking about fixing it.  I finally feel asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Husband always jokes that I have OCD and yet our house is never clean {there are always papers and shoes all over the place}.  This may seem odd, but its how I cope.

Yes I would love to have an organized house with straight clean modern lines.  Its a style I adore, but I also know its not possible.  I would obsess.

So if you would see my house, it always looks slightly unkempt.  There are piles of papers on the tables.  Probably a stack of dishes to be scrubbed {scrubbing tends to stress me out!}.  Dog toys strung all over the floor.

It keeps me sane.  If there is no order it is ok and is supposed to be like that.  If everything has a home it better be there and will be straighten repeatedly.  

I hope you've enjoyed this little glimpse into the craziness that is my mind.  We're all a little crazy right?  Its what makes us all unique right?  At least I choose to believe so...

Image by: Justin Lyon for the Mammoth Men